I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
