ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm always down for nudity.
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