yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
