So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
