It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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