looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
