he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
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can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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