Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize