I think my vagina is haunted
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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