CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
