Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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