I cockslap morals
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
