Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize