I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
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