i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
