I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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