I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
This house was built for laser tag.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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