I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
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He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
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We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
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She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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