By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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