You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
