haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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