This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
