Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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