when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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