I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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