the new term for farting is butt boxing.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
I think this conversation is over.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
im calling her cock vulture from now on
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.