Pregnant stripper...not hot.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.