a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.