first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
We need to get me chipped asap
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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