he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
i think im in europe. pls send help
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
