I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
