she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
