i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
