i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
