I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
