Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
