Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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