sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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