she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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