Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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