One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
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