DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
