Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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