Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
