Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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