i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
