piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
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