I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
