She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
