Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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