Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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