She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
