I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
