Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
