Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize