respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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