can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Randomize
