I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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