He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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