i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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