Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
