she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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