it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
