I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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