I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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